‘The amount of money I’ve spent on my sister is exhausting. It’s like they see my savings as disposable’: Family’s favoritism forces financially responsible sibling to spend thousands on her sister’s baby

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 8, 2025 9:00 PM EST

There is something about relatives having a baby or getting married that seems to throw common sense and basic fairness straight out the window. What would normally be considered audacious or entitled behavior suddenly becomes acceptable just because someone is expanding their family or popping a cork out of a bottle. The moment a family member achieves one of these milestones, an unspoken expectation arises that everyone else must empty their wallets to ensure the event is as over-the-top as possible. 

Somehow, single or child-free relatives are always the ones targeted for this financial drain. Their savings are treated as community property, and any dreams or goals they might have are brushed aside as insignificant. Building a future or saving for an apartment is secondary when there are ceremonious outfits, unnecessary luxuries, or extravagant parties to fund. If they dare to say no, they are labeled selfish and ungrateful, as if maintaining their own financial stability is a personal insult to the rest of the family. 

One sibling found themselves in the thick of this type of shared delusion when their sister's pregnancy became an endless money grab.

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  •  From picking up lunch tabs to being forced into splitting the cost of an extravagant $800 crucifix as the godmother, the demands kept piling on. Their priorities were dismissed in favor of their sister’s constant celebrations. Fairness clearly doesn’t survive family milestones, and financial irresponsibility is taught from birth.

  • "My family expects me to spend all of this money on my sister because she is married with a baby."

    "my family expects me to spend an absurd amount of money on her" Lance
    via dimaberlinphotos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My sister recently had a baby, and my family expects me to spend an absurd amount of money on her. While she was pregnant, my mom would tell me to pay for my sister's lunch
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • whenever we ordered food together. Now that the baby is here, I'm the godmother (I'm Catholic), and my mom is saying I have to split an $800 crucifix with the godfather. On top of that,
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • she's insisting I also buy the christening outfit. When I told her that's a lot of money, she went and told my sister that I “don't want to pay for the outfit."
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • Looking back at the past few years, the amount of money I've spent on my sister's wedding, bachelorette, and other events has been a lot. Everything has been so over the top, and I'm
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • Cheezburger Image 10476863232
    via SolStock

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • exhausted. Meanwhile, I'm trying to save for an apartment, but it feels like my financial goals don't matter to them because I'm not married. It's like they see my savings as disposable just
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • because I don't have a husband or a baby. I have my own life and priorities, too, and I'm tired of feeling like they don't count. I have been saving up for an apartment and I need to furnish
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • the apartment which is also going to cost me a lot of money. My sister had a bridal shower and received a ton of gifts for when she moved out. Shes been having these 500 dollar photo shoots
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • Cheezburger Image 10476863744
    via 89Stocker

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • and bought a 2025 car. I just get frustrated with the amount of money that my family keeps expecting me to give, when I have my own life I need to save for.
    via Defiant-Donut9823
  • TemporaryPrate NTA, you've already contributed a significant amount to your sister and It's unfair for them to assume that just because you're not married or have a child, your money is disposable. You need to set
    via TemporaryPrate
  • financial boundaries and say No. There is a different between helping out family and being used, financially, by your family.
    via TemporaryPrate
  • ConfusedAt63 NTA, It sounds like your mother is keeping your saving drained so you can't move out. Does she have access to your funds, like can she see your balance? If she does you might want to open a new account at a different bank. You could give your sister some money "towards what she needs"
    via ConfusedAt63
  • what and tell her and your mother that you gave, is all you can give. Then ask your mother, or both, if you are expected to give more than you have? And let that sink in for a minute. That is a very unchristian thing to do, ask someone to give more than they have or feel they can.
    via ConfusedAt63
  • Aggravating Meat4785 $800 crucifix? For a baby? I would flat out refuse. Just tell your mom that it's not financially feasible for you and you would appreciate her not trying to pressure you. And talk to your sister. Let her know that you're so happy for her but you are not able to contribute financially. Let her know you will support her in every other way
    via Aggravating_Meat4785
  • but the money is just not doable anymore. They will likely balk and say you're not being supportive or you're cheap so r whatever. Who cares? Your sister is doing just fine. She can afford a christening outfit, and no baby needs that pricey of a crucifix. The person who picked that out should pay. The tap is dry. No way should
    via Aggravating_Meat4785
  • your money be treated as less important because you're single, all the more reason you need your money you don't have two incomes. If you have a good relationship with your mom you can be honest and just say I'm
    via Aggravating_Meat4785
  • sorry I feel like you guys don't prioritize my needs and my life. I have to look out for my goals and my sisters gifts are not a priority. If you want her to have something feel free to buy it for her.
    via Aggravating_Meat4785
  • ctomas1984 NTA. I'm my niece's godmother and I bought her a sterling silver cross on Amazon for around $30. My sister waited until she was 7 to let her wear it to school. Broke the chain the first day.
    via ctomas1984
  • FTK. And your sister too. Put your foot down and save your money.
    via ctomas1984
  • Free-Place-3930 NTA. But YOU have to stop. No one can have a spine for you.
    via Free-Place-3930
  • Used-Meaning-1468 I'd inform them that as Godmother your priority is the baby's future. So instead of giving money for material items you're actually saving money for the baby's college or something. That should get them off your back for 18 years
    via Used-Meaning-1468
  • Ginger MuskRat NTA. You're an adult and need to put your foot down. $800!? That's crazy.
    via GingerMuskRat
  • Fibro-Mite "Helping family" is when you offer. If they demand money or things from you, it's them helping themselves to your hard earned money. Time to draw the line and learn to say "no". And, as is often said here, "no" is a complete
    via Fibro-Mite
  • sentence. You do not need to tack reasons to it. As a matter of fact, adding reasons just gives them hooks to try and unpick them to "prove" your refusal isn't valid.
    via Fibro-Mite

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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